Something different… Things I learned from Hallmark Christmas Movies.

Something different… Things I learned from Hallmark Christmas Movies.

The holidays are upon us and as something fun this week. I thought I would share a running joke I have with my wife.

My wife is obsessed with Hallmark Channel Christmas movies, so I’ve seen a lot of them, and below is what I’ve learned.

  1. All corporations are evil
  2. All mom and pop businesses are in danger of being shut down by “the bank” and the bank is open and acts on those foreclosures on Christmas day.
  3. If you don’t like each other when you meet, you will be madly in love in one weeks time.
  4. If you don’t know the meaning of Christmas it will be shown to you by an attractive member of the opposite sex.
  5. Automation is the end of all good things.
  6. Every event coordinator looks at a group and says “Everyone got the plan” and they immediate execute perfect.  And nothing will ever go wrong and no one had questions.
  7. If you are trying to decorate for christmas, the whole town will show up, unprompted to help.
  8. If you are visiting your home town after a long absence you will immediate leave your whole life behind and never leave.
  9. The only people who can find true love are Lacey Chabert and Candace Cameron Burree.
  10. If you have a life without a family, you will immediately realize your career is not what you want and throw it away at christmas.
  11. Small towns all hold a winter festival that is the center of everyone’s world in December, and they have Unlimited budgets
  12. Not owning a Balsalm hill tree is a federal crime.  Punishable by death.
  13. Every kid is wise beyond their years and know the true meaning of love and christmas.
  14. The most desirable positions in the world are: Designer, event planner, lodge owner and writer.
  15. If you dont like Christmas you will be the poster child for Christmas spirit within 1 week, guarenteed.
  16. There is always a long lost document, or legal loop that will solve all problems and it can only be found the night before foreclosure.
  17. If you are a prince / princess you will be told that you can only marry royalty.  This is false, royalty only marry american commoners.
  18. No one from a foreign kingdom has an accent or speak any language other than english.
  19. Every small European monarchy has a royal family that their marriage is the media focus at christmas.
  20. DESPITE the above two rules, no american has heard of any monarchy, royal family, or can identify the royal family on sight.
  21. Every castle was designed by a single architect and built to spec and all look identical.
  22. If you try to leave your small town, guarenteed all airports will shut down due to snow.
  23. The only drinks anyone drinks are coffee, hot coco, and wine.
  24. Everyone loves the christmas spirit, and if you dont you will convert or never be seen again.
  25. Everyone is originally from a small town, no one of any importance is born in a city.

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