Something different… Things I learned from Hallmark Christmas Movies.
The holidays are upon us and as something fun this week. I thought I would share a running joke I have with my wife.
My wife is obsessed with Hallmark Channel Christmas movies, so I’ve seen a lot of them, and below is what I’ve learned.
- All corporations are evil
- All mom and pop businesses are in danger of being shut down by “the bank” and the bank is open and acts on those foreclosures on Christmas day.
- If you don’t like each other when you meet, you will be madly in love in one weeks time.
- If you don’t know the meaning of Christmas it will be shown to you by an attractive member of the opposite sex.
- Automation is the end of all good things.
- Every event coordinator looks at a group and says “Everyone got the plan” and they immediate execute perfect. And nothing will ever go wrong and no one had questions.
- If you are trying to decorate for christmas, the whole town will show up, unprompted to help.
- If you are visiting your home town after a long absence you will immediate leave your whole life behind and never leave.
- The only people who can find true love are Lacey Chabert and Candace Cameron Burree.
- If you have a life without a family, you will immediately realize your career is not what you want and throw it away at christmas.
- Small towns all hold a winter festival that is the center of everyone’s world in December, and they have Unlimited budgets
- Not owning a Balsalm hill tree is a federal crime. Punishable by death.
- Every kid is wise beyond their years and know the true meaning of love and christmas.
- The most desirable positions in the world are: Designer, event planner, lodge owner and writer.
- If you dont like Christmas you will be the poster child for Christmas spirit within 1 week, guarenteed.
- There is always a long lost document, or legal loop that will solve all problems and it can only be found the night before foreclosure.
- If you are a prince / princess you will be told that you can only marry royalty. This is false, royalty only marry american commoners.
- No one from a foreign kingdom has an accent or speak any language other than english.
- Every small European monarchy has a royal family that their marriage is the media focus at christmas.
- DESPITE the above two rules, no american has heard of any monarchy, royal family, or can identify the royal family on sight.
- Every castle was designed by a single architect and built to spec and all look identical.
- If you try to leave your small town, guarenteed all airports will shut down due to snow.
- The only drinks anyone drinks are coffee, hot coco, and wine.
- Everyone loves the christmas spirit, and if you dont you will convert or never be seen again.
- Everyone is originally from a small town, no one of any importance is born in a city.